March 17th, 2020

Well our journey doesn’t quite unfold like I imagined it would on this day. Another negative pregnancy test, another heartbreaking phone call, a call that I have to make to my husband to let him know that once again, my body said NO & God said NOT YET.

On this particular day I took the time to look up scriptures and pray them. Even though it is so hard, I HAVE to continue to trust in God’s plan. If I don’t then, why do we continue this anyways? God’s hope gives us a chance, HIS plan is greater than anything we can imagine. However, I feel so ridiculous today for believing it was going to be different today. We can continue to ask why, however, the answer could just lie in that it is not God’s timing. All we can do is pray! 

 Dear God, 

   I pray as we have this really hard emotional day that you would just rest our hearts Lord. Help us to continue to trust in you when it is hard. Help us to continue growing closer to you. As I just listened to this song, Lord, I want to pray these words; That even if you DON'T my hope is in you alone! I could pray this over and over Lord. I feel as if my heart is just wandering for your will today. Help me to continue to see the good out of this story, and how influential it could possibly be for others! I pray that one day, our story will touch and help other people who are going through the same things we are Lord. James 1:17 tells us that “every good and perfect gift comes from above, coming down from the Heavenly Father, who does not change like the shifting shadows.” We know that you can provide! Help us to remember this ALWAYS! Lord, help us to 100 percent believe in what we are asking. I know sometimes that after all we’ve been through it can be a struggle to be all in believing. In Mark throughout two different stories, you tell us that ANYTHING is POSSIBLE WITH GOD (Mk 10:27) and that “whatever thing we ask when we pray, believe that we will receive them, and we will have them” (Mk 11:24). I pray for my husband. He may not show his emotions as I do, but however, I know that he is struggling just as much as I am. He is being so strong for our family, and it means the world to me. I pray that he wouldn’t be afraid to express true emotions to you and with me. I pray he will continue to grow towards you Lord. I am so thankful for the small transformation I have already seen, it has been wonderful! Help him to love you more and more each day! I ask all these things in Jesus name, Amen!