FET Diary Part 2

If you didn't read part 1, please go back and read it before you start this one. 

https://ourjourneywithgodinfertilityandlife.blogspot.com/2022/01/fet-diary-part-1.html 

 January 14th

Well today is day after transfer! Everything went perfect yesterday! The worst part of the whole procedure is having to hold your bladder until after it is over. If you know me well enough, this is a difficult task. 

Yesterday, I took a good nap after getting home. Today, I've just been trying to take it easy. 

January 20th 

Today is the day before our HCG test! I have restrained from taking any home test. So that's a great thing. 

Current symptoms: cramping, sniffles (cold), and super exhausted. I have been in the bed by 8 each night this week. I normally am a grandma, but not that much of one! Here is to tomorrow! Let's see what God has in store! 

January 21st

God has some great things in store. After I came home from getting my bloodwork done at 7AM, I asked Brandon where he hid the pregnancy test that we had at the house. Y'all will never guess where he hid them: UNDER THE COUCH. Goodness gracious. 

Just in case you can't tell what that digital pregnancy test...it says

PREGNANT! 

Dear God, 

The excitement in my heart is so great! I cannot thank you enough for your timing, and for the resources we were given to make this happen! We thank you for this great gift! We pray our little one continues to grow Lord! Continues to grow into a healthy girl or boy! Thank you again for your faithfulness, and forgive us for when we have doubted you! AMEN

I heard back from the doctor's office around 1:45. My estrogen and progesterone were perfect. My HCG was borderline. Meaning, I am pregnant, but it is low. Yes, this is scary, but I asked the nurse to be honest with me. She said that because my estrogen and progesterone were at really good levels that she more than likely thought it would rise. But that it was also possible for it not to rise. So I am set to go back to AFS on Monday to do another blood draw. Here are the pictures from telling Brandon! 

We decided to go ahead and let our parents know that we are pregnant! It felt like the right thing to go ahead and do because we have so many people that have been invested in our journey! Right now the plan is to tell them, my sister's family, and a few other close people. Here is us telling my mom and dad! 

You can't read the picture very well backwards, but it says, "Promoted from dog grandparents to human grandparents, Coming Sept/Oct 2022!" 

We told Brandon's parents by giving them the same frame! We just didn't get a picture. 

January 22nd: 

We decided to go ahead and tell my sister and her family! Now, why did we share this so early with our parents and my sister? Well to be honest, when you've been going through this for as long as we have you usually get bad news more often, and to get this news was the BEST! We are confident in what is to come on Monday! We just pray it is all in God's plan. 

January 24th:

Today is the day. The day we've waited patiently for all weekend! 

2:00PM 

AFS calls, "do you have time to go over your results?" My heart dropped. "Katey, I'm sorry, but your HCG has dropped since Friday. Go ahead and stop all your meds, and the Birmingham office will call to set up your follow-up appointment." All I could say was ok. Thankfully one of my coworkers just happened to be in the room with me, and I just cried on her shoulder. Then my other coworker comes in and I cry on her too. These two have been with me for this journey, just praying and always checking on me. I am so thankful for Ms. Phillips and Mrs. Bruce! I honestly don't know what I would do at work without these two! My heart is just so broken and the thought of calling Brandon makes me sick because once again my body wouldn't produce what he (and I) have been longing for. I call Brandon and my words just couldn't even come out. All I could say was my level dropped and they told me to stop taking my medicine. 

After I got off the phone with Brandon, all I could do was quote my mentoring groups Bible verses over and over to myself. I sat at my computer at school and just cried and cried until it was time to go home. 

Next, was mom. Oh, and I just knew that I was going to have a hard time telling her too. And I did. I got it out, and then I asked her if she would let dad, my sister, and my cousin, Kellie know because I couldn't make another phone call. I couldn't voice it again. 

Once again, we went from a positive to a negative so quickly. 

Memory Verse for Dec/Jan: Consider it pure joy my brothers and sisters when you face trials of many kinds because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work, so you may be mature and complete, lacking nothing. James 1:2-4 

What's next? We don't know. And I politely ask that if you see us out and about please don't ask us. We have a follow up appointment on Monday, March 7th. 

Now to box up all the meds, all the announcement things, etc... 

It may be a little while before I write again, but I'll end with a prayer because God will get us through somehow. 

Dear God, 

I am not quite sure what to say. I am not quite sure why we are in this position. I just pray that you help us make it through it. We are so thankful for the things you have done in the waiting, Lord. I just pray for you to wrap your arms around us as we move forward! Amen

January 25th:

Last night was tough. It was like Brandon and I couldn't even find the right things to say to each other. Over and over again, it was just we don't understand and I'm sorry. I cried a little bit more. And then I woke up in the middle of the night..crying and I could not go back to sleep. Were we too confident in this process after Friday? Should we have been more cautious? Should we have not been excited? Should we have not shared with others? I am not sure. All of this just hurts so much, and I don't even know what to say. 

As this will for sure be the last post in part 2, I just ask that you pray with us and for us! For those that aren't sure how you can help because you don't know what this is like, I'll refer you to a previous blog post called: How to support my friend going through infertility 

Love you all and thank you for supporting us in our journey! 

Brandon and Katey 

FET Diary, Part 1

Sunday, December 26th: 

 Brandon and I hope that you had a very merry Christmas! 

Over the break, Christmas brought more than just celebrating Jesus, family time, presents, etc.... it also brought my cycle 10-12 days earlier than normal. I'm so thankful to have friends at the fertility office that I can ask questions too. Today's hope is that I can get into the doctor either tomorrow or Tuesday. Then we will go from there. If I calculated correctly, our FET would fall around January 13th-ish. Again, not sure how everything will fall because of the holidays, but we are excited this has finally come around! 

Dear God, 

Today I pray that this is your timing, and it is your will Lord! Help guide us through the process as it can take a toll on both of us. I pray that we seek you in all decisions made, and that we continue to be each other's rocks as we start this all over again! Thank you for what you have done for us in 2021, and we look forward to seeing you move in our lives in 2022. AMEN. 

Tuesday December 28th: 

I was able to go to the doctor today, and my ultrasound looked great! 

I did have to get my thyroid rechecked today, and that could play a big factor in whether or not move forward with the FET. My bloodwork came back great! No problems, except my thyroid is still a little elevated, but not too much. My medicine is just being adjusted for it. So we officially are scheduled for January 13th at 2:00PM for our FET!!!!  

Medicines for now: Thyroid, lovenox shot, estrogen, daily vitamin, folic acid, and eventually we will add the progesterone in oil shot (the terrible ones). But we have to do what it takes! We are just so excited to be moving forward in the process. I go back to the doctor for a check on Thursday, January 6th. 

Dear God, 

We thank you for good results and levels today! We pray that as we continue we will get results necessary to move forward with each step Lord. Thank you for not letting us walk alone Lord. We know you are with us always! AMEN 

Tuesday January 4th: Happy New Year!

Over the past few days, we've had some really great things happen! First, we received our bill for the transfer...and I know you are thinking, why is this great? It is great because it is around $2,000 less than we were expecting to pay! YAY! The second thing, is after reflecting on the first thing, I had this crazy feeling and I am not really sure how to explain it. I was doing my Bible Study yesterday and a voice popped in my head that Brandon and I needed to gift someone with part of the difference from what we expected to pay. I was like, did I really just hear/think that? Well after talking to a co-worker about it, she was so supportive just saying that it was definitely meant to be. Brandon and I have been so blessed with financial support throughout this process. Between us and the people who have given - at least $25,000 has been spent during our journey.  So, how are we going to gift this money? I am not sure. We have a couple in mind that we might give it to or we might just do it randomly through the fertility office. Not sure yet! I am not telling you all this to take the glory either, I just really want to follow what I believe my heart and God is telling us to do! 

Thursday January 6th: 

Today was appointment day. This morning my ultrasound went really well. Throughout the day today, I had to speak with insurance multiple times about the progesterone in oil shots. Apparently my insurance will let me order one time through a normal pharmacy, but then it has to be sent to a specialty pharmacy. I called the doctor's office and left a message for the nurse, but I have heard anything back yet as of 2:30. I am also waiting to hear back about blood work from this morning. Blood work came back great! So we are one step closer to the transfer! One week to go! 

Saturday January 8th: 

Today we started progesterone shots. This is one of the worst things, in my opinion. However, I just have to remind myself that I have to do! The funny part about it is, is that I have to take these shots at exactly 10AM everyday. So, while at church, while at work, while Brandon is working.... Good thing I have some really great people in my corner that I trust to give me these shots! 

Dear God, 

I thank you that we were able to move to the next spot in the process! We thank you for blessing us financially, and for putting on our hearts to give! We ask that it is blessed as it is given to such a worthy couple Lord! We pray that we continue to follow and trust in you as we go through the next step! We pray for our precious embryo to thaw perfectly and be ready for transfer when we get there! We love you! Amen! 

Monday January 10th:

Well today, I had to give the progesterone shot to myself for the first time. It was not fun, but at least today was a day for my dominate side. 

We are counting down the days! Only 3 more to go until we are PUPO (pregnant until proven otherwise)! And it is CRAZY exciting to think we will know on January 21st! 

Dear God, as we go through this week, we thank you for getting us here! We are so grateful for our friends and family who have been praying for us. We pray that you continue to keep us stress free, and that the devil would flee with his negativity. AMEN

Tuesday January 11th: 

 2 days until PUPO! 10 days until test day!

Wednesday January 12th: 

1 day until PUPO! 9 days until test day!

Please be praying that everything goes as planned and that it is in God's plan for this to work out! 

Part 2 will come soon! 

Reflecting on 2021- the Battle of Infertility

2021 was a hard year, but God was right beside us through the ups and downs of not only our fertility journey, but in our everyday lives too. 

I feel like it is important to recognize that even though the results didn't turn out like we prayed, that God had other BIG things happen in our life! This is a reflection of our journey just through 2021.  As hard all of this was, it has led us to where we are now. An update on all of that will come soon! 

January - Fundraising for IVF

               - IVF Consultation 

February - Fundraising for IVF

               - Blessed with all funds needed for IVF 

March- Baseline appointment for IVF

           -HSG Test for the 3rd & 4th time 

           - diagnosed with hypothyroidism

April - Hematologist appointment 

          - Factor V confirmation (was originally tested in 2015) 

          - diagnosed with low iron 

May - Baseline #2 for IVF 

June - Birth Control 

        - Saline Ultrasound Procedure 

July - STIMS & lots of other medicines

        - Egg Retrieval

        - Fresh Transfer of 2 embryos, 1 frozen 

August - Failed Transfer 

             - one year mark of our miscarriage 

September - Follow-up appointment with the fertility doctor

October  - ERA biopsy 

              - Fundraising for FET 

November - ERA results: receiving level 

December - Baseline appointment for FET (frozen transfer) 

                  - Thyroid medicine adjusted 

                  - 4 year mark of facing infertility 

Some big positives that happened over 2021: 

-finished my 3rd year at JSE & began my 4th

- We joined Journey Church in February! 

- Started serving in the Children's Ministry with some awesome people! 

- Brandon and I joined mentoring groups & a small group! 

-Every penny that was needed was provided for our fertility journey (past and current)! 

-Continuing to share our testimony has been a HUGE blessing!

-Our faith continues to grow each and every day! 

-Celebrated 6 years of marriage!

-These are only some, but are big ones in our book!

Happy New Year to everyone! Love y'all!

-Brandon and Katey 

Lessons Learned - Brandon's Perspective

When I first started sharing about things I've learned during this journey, I asked Brandon if he would be willing to share from his perspective for the last one. 

Here is what he shared with me: 

1. We are never alone

2. Keep the faith

3. Trust God is in control

We are never alone. God is walking with us. Through this journey we have also met others who are going through the same struggle. I hope ones who have read the blog have a rock they can lean on in their times of trouble as Katey and I have been able to lean on each other. 

Keeping the faith in our struggle has been hard. We don't understand. We get easily discouraged. Our faith has to be at the forefront so we have the strength to continue. 

Trusting God's timing can be so hard too. We live in a place where if we want something we just try to go make it happen. In our case we can't. Only God can! 

Psalm 18:2

The Lord is my rock, my fortress, and my deliverer; 

My God is my Rock, where I seek refuge; 

My shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. 

Lessons Learned from Infertility #3 & #4

I did not post #3 last week. This week 3 and 4 are posted together. Here we go: Lessons learned continued...

#3. To let our struggle be a part of our testimony. 

#4. Delay doesn't mean denial. 

But in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect. 1 Peter 3:15

You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven. Matthew 5:14-16

This is the testimony: God has given us eternal life, and this life is in His Son. 1 John 5:11

For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven. Ecclesiastes 3:1 

But those who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint. Isaiah 40:31

For there is a time and a way for everything, although man's trouble lies heavy on him. Ecclesiastes 8:6 

We have hope because... Sara, Rachel, Rebekah, Hannah, and Elizabeth just to name a few. 

It took me a while to open up about our struggle, but as I shared our story and others reached out sharing theirs or telling me ours was inspiring... I knew I had chosen the right thing to do. Letting our trial be a part of my testimony, has had its ups and downs. We've had people give us the dreaded comments/questions/advice, but we've also gained so many that now intercede for us in prayer. That in itself is one of the biggest blessings that has come from sharing our story. 

I also believe that just because we haven't gotten a yes yet, doesn't mean we won't. God's timing is perfect, and we have to trust in it! 

Have a blessed rest of your week! One more lesson learned to share..and then I'll be taking a break through the Christmas Holidays! 

Lessons Learned From Infertility #2

 #2. I am enough because of Christ

How many of us base our worth off of the worldly things? How many followers we have, how many likes we receive on a post, how popular we are, how much money we make, etc. The list could go on and on. For me, it was believing the enemy's lie that my worth as a woman comes from two lines on a pregnancy test. At the beginning of our journey I struggled deeply with this. It took time for me to realize that this was a lie Satan, our true enemy, wanted me to believe. He wares us down with his lie of us being unworthy of God's love. God defines our worth! And He tells us over and over again how much we are loved. But as I say this I'm also reminded that He is greater than I.

I must become less and He must become greater!!! 

I just finished a book a few weeks ago called Captivating and I want to share some of the notes I wrote down from it. It was a great book and just gave me a whole different outlook about how and why God created me. 

We were created because something was missing...one more time.. Women were created because something was missing. 

"We come to God in worship not to get from Him, but to give to Him. Jesus loves it when we offer our hearts to him in devotion."

"You, dear heart, are the crown of creation, His glorious image bearer. And He will do everything it takes to rescue you and set your heart free."

"The things you've struggled with - They came from the enemy who wanted to take your heart captive, make you a prisoner of darkness." 

"How many of us see God as longing to be loved by you? We see Him as strong and powerful, but not as needing us, vulnerable to us, yearning to be desired." 

Prayer from Captivating: Rejecting the Lies

"Jesus, forgive me for embracing these lies. This is not what you have said of me. You said I am your daughter, your beloved, your cherished one. I renounce the agreements I made with (name of specific message you've been living with). I renounce the agreements I've been making with these messages all these years. Bring the truth here, oh Spirit of Truth, I reject these lies." 

____________________________________________________

Blessed is the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavens in Christ. For He chose us in Him, before the foundation of the world, to be holy and blameless in love before Him. He predestined us to be adopted as sons through Jesus Christ for Himself, according to the good pleasure of His will, to the praise of His glorious grace that He lavished on us in the Beloved One. In Him we have redemption, through His blood, the forgiveness of our sins, according to the riches of His grace that he richly poured out on us with all wisdom and understanding. He made known to us the mystery of his will, according to his good pleasure that He purposed in Christ as a plan for the right time -- to bring everything together in Christ, both things in heaven and things on earth in Him. In Him we have also received an inheritance because we predestined according to the plan of the one who works out everything in agreement with the purpose of His will, so that we who had already put our hope in Christ might bring praise to His glory. In Him you were also sealed with the promised Holy Spirit when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation, and when you believed. The Holy Spirit is the down payment of our inheritance, until the redemption of the possession, to the praise of His glory. Ephesians 1:3-14

No Longer Slaves

Happy Thanksgiving! 

And WAR EAGLE! 

FET Update: We will not have a transfer in December. The timing of the transfer is out of our control, so January will hopefully be the transfer. 

5 Lessons Learned from Infertility, lesson 1

After a year and 8 months of blogging our story, I wasn't really sure what to share about in the blog next. This is why I skipped last week. It feels like I have hit all the possible topics. After praying for my heart to continue to be open, I've decided that over the next 5 weeks I am sharing the top 5 lessons I've learned through this process. 

#1. God is Enough

This is the hardest lesson I've learned through this experience. I have to lean on the fact that if this doesn't happen for us... God is Enough! I am watery eyed thinking about this statement. But this statement means that I've finally given over complete surrender of the valley we are in. I know deep down in my heart that we will continue to love Him no matter the results. Even if You don't, my hope is you alone. 

Even if- Mercy Me

Even when I go through the darkest valley: I will fear no evil, for you are with me. Your rod and staff - they comfort me. Psalm 23:4

Jireh - maverick city music