The HEART

Last week I shared that we had decided to pursue a round of IVF in hopes of that working for us to have a baby. I called the doctor to make the initial appointment and he didn't have an opening until JANUARY 18th. The bad thing about this date is that it is two months away, the good thing is that it falls on a holiday. So I don't have to take a day off in order to go to the appointment. Here is what we know so far: I will have to have another HSG (The procedure where they check to see if your tubes are blocked), and some other test done a certain amount of time out before we can actually start the true process. So this part of the journey is kind of at a stand still until our appointment with the doctor. Secondly, I made an appointment to see my regular OBGYN while we are waiting for the 18th of Jan, and he didn't have an appointment open either until the first week of January. CRAZY! 

So where are our heads with all of this? 

My head is in a what if state...what if it doesn't work kind of state? What would happen then? Well, I have really been trying to get this out of my head. We can only take one step at a time, and trust that the doctors are helping us make the right decision. 

Where is my heart at? 

Well...my heart is deeply trying to lay everything at the feet of Jesus, to let go and let God! I feel as if I am failing daily just because I want to be in control and know the outcome before we even start. 

What are we told about our hearts in the Bible? 

Create in my a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me. Psalm 51:10

Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God. Matthew 5:8

The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18

And he said to him, "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul, and with all our mind." Matthew 22:37

Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4

A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. Proverbs 17:22

There are so many verses that reference the heart! So, we are to ask for a clean heart when we go against God. We can draw near to God when we are brokenhearted. We must love God with all our heart. Our true joy comes from God. So where is your heart right now? 

Tonight Lord, I pray that you would gives us clean hearts. Help us to love you with ALL of our heart, every single piece. I pray that we would draw near to you not only during the struggles, but during the times that are wonderful too. I pray that we would praise you no matter the circumstance we find ourselves in right now. Amen.