IVF Diary Part 2

Monday, June 28th

There really hasn't been an update since the last blog. Tomorrow is my appointment with the IVF nurse from Birmingham. After the appointment I will be able to order my medicine that is needed, and just learn more about the specifics of the process. I pray that it goes well, and I'll update Part 2 of the blog tomorrow after the appointment at 9:00. 

Tuesday, June 29th

I had my appointment with IVF nurse. We talked on the phone for about 45 minutes going over my calendar, medicines, procedures, financial, and consents to sign. First was the calendar. We set up the suppression appointment for next Wednesday July 7th. At this appointment they will be doing blood work, and making sure the birth control did its job. However, this is the point in the process where many couples journey gets cancelled. So I ask that we pray for everything to go just as it should. As long as everything goes well, I will start STIMS on Saturday July 10th. All of my meds were ordered today and they should be here this Friday. 

We went over how to mix the medicines for the shots. And other medicines that I would potentially have to take during the process. We also went over all of the medicines I am currently taking to make sure nothing would counteract. Everything there was good. So now we just wait for next week and go from there! 

Monday, July 5th

Today is my last day on birth control! Wednesday is the big appointment that I have already explained in the last date of the diary. I am just feeling super nervous about it. My nerves have been way worse than normal. I am so thankful for my little prayer team that I have been sending out messages too. These women have been so encouraging, and prayerful on mine and Brandon's behalf! They have kept me uplifted over the past month and I am so grateful they are there for us! (INSERT: please don't be offended if you are not in this group and reading this. The blog is a great way to keep up with everything too! 

Prayer for Today

Lord, I pray that you would calm my anxious soul. Give us peace about our appointment on Wednesday! I pray that my levels be where they are supposed too, no cysts, and that the birth control did what it was supposed to do. Help us to stay positive and know that you are in control of this situation! We thank you that you have paved a way for this so far, and we can't wait to see what happens with the rest of our testimony. *AMEN*

Wednesday July 7th

As of 9:00, everything looks good. My ultrasound was perfect, and now we just wait on the bloodwork results. We are waiting to see what my estrogen level is. We are wanting it to be super super low! 

As of 2:00, we have the go ahead! STIMS START SATURDAY!!! 

Please be in prayer, that my follicles grow into many many eggs! I probably will not publish part 3 for a while! We just ask for your prayers! Thank you all for the prayers you've already said! 

Dear God, Thank you for letting your plan fall into place! We praise you for our numbers being good, and for my ultrasound being perfect! We could not have made it this far without our hope in you! We continue to trust in you throughout the process, and thank you for the others that are interceding for us! In Jesus Name, Amen. 

IVF Diary Part 1

 Thursday May 27, 2021: 

I finally finally started my cycle! Woohoo! 

Right away, I call to make an appointment at ART for our pre-IVF baseline. I'm just so excited one that I finally started, and two that my cycles weren't 50 days apart this time. I literally. When talking with a friend, I think the thyroid medicine might be helping regulate my cycle! Anyways, appointment was made for 7:45 on Friday! 

Friday May 28, 2021: 

Go into my appointment at 7:45. Blood work first, then ultrasound, and meeting with the nurse. We go over a few different things, I end up having to get blood drawn again. Everything on the ultrasound looks good, and now we waited on blood work to see if we would be able to start. We scheduled the next steps, which is a saline ultrasound and fasting blood work for me, and blood work and analysis for Brandon. 

Our biggest prayer was that my thyroid levels would come down and guess what? They did! We get the news to go ahead and start birth control/blood thinner shots for Saturday. While on the phone with the nurse, she also lets me know that she will have an approximate calendar for me.  This calendar will include dates of appointments, and approximate date for egg retrieval and transfer (Should be early July). 

I get my prescription for the birth control and take it to Adam's Drugs Millbrook. Well Millbrook calls, and they don't have it and would have to order it. I asked if they could see if Pine level or Montgomery had it, and luckily, Pine Level had it in stock! 

Saturday, May 29th

Thursday June 3, 2021: 

Today was saline ultrasound day! And as it was prayed: EVERYTHING WAS PERFECT! 

I also got our approximate calendar. I am going to have to take the birth control a little longer than expected. Then the approximate time for retrieval, etc is for mid-end of July! I am hoping and praying this will be the best birthday present EVER! Unfortunately, we thought that last year would be too, so it is difficult thinking that this is such a similar timeline to 2020 when our IUI was successful on my 29th birthday, and learned we miscarried the first day of school. We have to continue to focus on the positive! 

Friday June 4, 2021: 

Blood work was completed for both Brandon and myself! We will be waiting on results for a while because mine were sent to LabCorp. Hopefully Brandon's will come quicker! 

Saturday June 5, 2021: 

We are now on the second week of lovenox and birth control. So far, I have only had a few of the side effects including low grade fevers and stomach aches. Praying week 2 won't show any side effects. 

Monday June 7, 2021: 

So if you have been following our journey, months ago we had someone that donated around $3,000 worth of medication to us! This was such a huge blessing! Today, I get the quote for the medicine in my email, and it is only $1,800ish. Wow, this bill should have been around $5,000, but isn't, thanks to a wonderful family that wanted to pay it forward after they had gone through IVF too and a God that provides! 

Also on Monday, I got some of the bloodwork results from Friday, June 4th. It scared me to death when the nurse called. Most of my bloodwork was fine, but I had a few things that were higher than normal. First was something with my liver and second was my fasting sugar. Now, I have added another supplement to take; ovasitol. Now this is a powder that you mix and drink with any non-carbonated drink. Brandon's bloodwork came back good as well. 

Also, I spoke with a sorority sister today that is also going through this process. Crazy thing, is we almost have the exact same schedule! Literally, our retrievals are approximately the same week. I thought that was neat that we would be going through everything at similar times. 

Tuesday June 8, 2021: 

Brandon goes to south for an analysis. I leave for Kids Camp with our new church home, Journey. Journey has been such a blessing the past months. I have jumped into working in the children's ministry, and Brandon is getting everything going to be on the security team. 

Sunday June 13, 2021: 

Today is our 6th anniversary. I am just so overwhelmed today, thinking about the fact that we should have had a child by now. We should have had this little front room filled with nursery things, but it isn't. And it just breaks my heart. 

Also Brandon has been sick all weekend! Praying he gets to feeling better soon! 

And, I am pretty sure this Ovasitol is making my stomach super upset. It doesn't have a taste, but drinking it three times a day seems like a lot. 

We also begin week 3 of birth control and lovenox. This week, I only take it until Wednesday, take a break, and then start again at the beginning of next week. I am having to take it longer than the normal protocol. Still praying for side effects to not be bad. 

Stay tuned for Part 2 in a few weeks for another update**

Prayer Request for now: 

-Minimal side effects from medicines

-Strength, Faith, Hope

-Pre-Cycle appointment on June 29th to go well 

-Brandon 

What happens next: 

Continue meds

Pre-cycle appointment with IVF nurse on June 29th 

IVF Baseline once my cycle starts again

Scripture for the heart

 Do you ever have days where you just need a little scripture to help get your heart back right? I realized after a super busy two weeks, that I haven't really set time aside to do my Bible Study or journaling. So I just want to take some time to share a few scriptures with all of you today! Hopefully someone else needs these today besides me! 

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. 2 Corinthians 4:16-18

Taste and see that the Lord is Good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in Him. Psalm 34:8

But you, Lord, are a shield around me, my glory, the One who lifts my head high. I call out to the Lord, and He answers me from His holy mountain. Psalm 3:3-4

God is our refuge and strength, an ever present help in trouble. Psalm 46:1

Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. Hebrews 11:1

The Lord is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble. Those who know your name trust in you, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you. Psalm 9:9-10 

Let your unfailing love be with us, Lord, even as we put our hope in you. Psalm 33:22

May you be strengthened with all power, according to His glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy. Colossians 1:11 

I will be taking a break for a few weeks from writing in the blog as we are finishing up the school year. I should be heading back to the doctor at the end of May. Prayers are for my Thyroid levels to be lower, so that we can go ahead and start our IVF cycle! I'll update you all in a few weeks! 

Another Year Older

 Another year older, another year without a child...Not me, but him. 

Today is Brandon's 32nd birthday. (April 28th) And for his birthday, he should have been becoming a dad. If we wouldn't have miscarried, baby owens would have made his or her arrival this past week. This week should have been the start of our IVF; however, the records did not get to ART on time. Another year older, another year without a child. 

This past month at church we were in a sermon series titled the Comeback. The series started with the greatest comeback of all time, Jesus' resurrection. Then we went on to discuss Peter, Paul, and David's comebacks with some members of the church's testimonies. 

As Brandon and I were talking about my results not getting to ART in time for us to start our IVF cycle, he mentions, "you know, maybe God is setting us up for a comeback." In my mind, all I could think was well it is definitely possible. 

My prayer today, is for all of those that are in need of a comeback. Jesus is there to welcome you with open arms, if you'll take that leap of faith and turn to Him. I also pray, thanking God for the comebacks that have happened! Don't be afraid to share your testimony with someone else! You never know the positive impact you might make. 

National Infertility Awareness Week 2021

 Journey Update: 

I went back to the hematologist yesterday to get my results from all of my blood work, and shocker...I have Factor V. I have known this for 6 years now, but had to get retested for it. I also previously mentioned that I had to start taking iron pills. So the real reason I had to go in was for the hematologist to make a decision on what to do with the birth control part of IVF. So, I will be taking a blood thinner while going through IVF. This blood thinner is a injectable. The nurse asked me if I would have trouble with it, and I was like no ma'am I have been giving myself shots for a while now. 

Now, the catch to everything is that for some reason my cycle decided to show its face earlier than 50 days. So I started on Monday, which means I am cycle day 3 today. In order to do IVF, the doctor's office has to see you by cycle day 4 (aka tomorrow). Well I called yesterday to make sure my records had been faxed to ART. I cannot make an appointment at ART until the results of the blood work, and the doctor's recommendation have been faxed to ART. When I called them yesterday, and of course the blood work results are ready to fax over, but the doctor's recommendation isn't. So more than likely we will have to wait until my cycle starts again to actually have another baseline IVF appointment. The one good thing, is that the timing would be over the summer. So now, we wait again. 

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This week is National Infertility Awareness Week. If you see the hashtag on facebook #niaw, that is what it stands for. So during this week, many many people share their stories on social media, etc. We don't share our stories for the comments, or attention, most of us simply share our story/struggle to raise awareness to an issue that is so hard to talk about casually. 

1 in 8 couples struggle to get pregnant. 

1 in 4 women have had a miscarriage. 

I saw this wonderfully written on facebook and wanted to share it: 

To the woman in target walking by the baby clothes, softly touching everything you pass with your fingertips; but continuing to walk by without buying anything ... I see you

To the woman at the baby shower who slips into the bathroom to hold back the tears and walks back out with a smile on her face... I see you

To the woman at the grocery store seeing the pregnant teenager, and the woman shopping midday with 5 kids in and around the cart; and thinking why not me?! ... I see you

To the woman sitting in her car a little longer than necessary parked at the fertility clinic, before walking in for another appointment or treatment, because nothing good has happened there yet... I see you

To the woman who prays every morning, every night, and a little harder every Sunday at church for a baby that hasn’t come... I see you

To the woman who has the heart of a warrior, and will never give up hope... I see you

To the woman feeling broken... you’re not.

To the woman feeling alone... you’re not.

I see you.

I am you.

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Dear God, I pray as we take this week to share stories and raise awareness that we would continue to put our hope in you for your future. I pray for each and everyone couple going through infertility. It is just so hard Lord, but daily we are praying to make a comeback! Help us to believe it! AMEN.

Will you still love Him?

        The song "Even if" has really been on my mind lately. When I think about this song, I think about the story in Daniel where the men are thrown into the blazing fire. In Daniel 3:17-18 it says, "If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to deliver us from it, and he will deliver us from your majesty's hand. But even if he does not, we want you to know, your majesty, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up." Even in the mist of the fire, they knew God was able. They knew he had to the power to rescue them. They had so much strength that they told the king, even if God doesn't rescue us, we won't turn from Him to worship your gods. Wow! Do we have this kind of faith? That even if God doesn't rescue us, are we still going to believe and trust in His plan? Are we going to believe that their is a purpose for the trial that God has not revealed to us yet? The next thing this reminds me of is the movie Facing the Giants. I think I have referenced this movie before. But in the movie, the husband asks his wife, "If the Lord doesn't give us children will you still love Him?" Tough to think about. But fill in the blank with whatever your struggle is... Will you still love Him if you stay single? Will you still love Him if life doesn't go as planned? Will you still love Him when a loved one is taken to early? Will you still love Him? 

Even if

Life Update: 

The past two weeks we have finally had kids back and school, and while most of my caseload chose to stay virtual, it has been great having students back in the building! I also got my 2nd Covid vaccine today. I am praying for no crazy symptoms to appear. There is not really a fertility update this week. We are just still waiting to see what the hematologist decided and for my cycle to get here. 

Dear God, I pray for the person reading this right now. I pray that they would feel your presence among them in whatever trial they may be facing. I hope and pray that you are their confidence and where their hope lies. I pray they'd still love you even if something isn't going as planned. Help us to love you no matter what. Thank you for not leaving us as orphans, but making us you children. I thank you for the person who took time out of their day to read this. I hope they know how much it means to me that they are reading to keep up with our story. In Jesus Name, Amen. 

A year later..

Today makes a year since I made our journey public on facebook and began to blog about it. I wanted this week's blog to be today, which is why it wasn't posted yesterday. 

A year later...

• Still no baby
• Still not pregnant 
• Still HOPEFUL
• Still FAITHFUL
• Still PRAYING
• Still THANKFUL

What have I learned over the last year? 

-My worth is not defined by two pink lines.

-My worth is not defined by being a mom. 

-My worth is defined by God only! 

-I don't need to let infertility be the center piece of my life.

-I only need Jesus to be at the center! 

-I have the most incredible support group! 

-To rely on God more!

-To be open about other struggles within my life.

-Not to be scared to ask for help.

-That my story can inspire others.

-God's not done with us yet. 

This is a clip from a Netflix movie, but these two songs together are just so powerful! 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_xEDCg-9lIw 

Journey update: 

I learned over this past weekend that apparently I have low iron. The low iron, and a few other things have a lot of symptoms that cross paths together. Right now, we are just praying for the decision from the hematologist about how to handle the Birth Control part of IVF. 

A huge thank you to everyone who has supported me with this blog and our journey. This past year has definitely been tough, but I couldn't be more thankful for my friends and family who have been through every step with us! Love you all so much!