So you don't have kids yet...
1. you are trying too hard.
2. relax, don't think about it, and it will happen.
3. don't worry, it will happen eventually.
4. be glad you don't have kids right now, y'all can do whatever you want.
5. Have you tried_______?
6. I bet if you both lose a few pounds it might help.
7. My other friends did _____ and it worked.
8. It must not be in God's timing right now.
This is a list of things we've been told over our journey.
How are we suppose to respond to these comments?
Sometimes I explode.
Sometimes I get so angry/frustrated.
Sometimes I just think why do people keep saying these things to us.
Sometimes I just say ok and move on.
Sometimes I don't let the comments get to me.
Sometimes I remember HE WOULD LOVE FIRST. (HWLF)
Sometimes I show grace and love.
Sometimes I honor God with my response.
The truth is honoring God with grace and love should be in all our responses no matter what situation we may be facing. I should always remember He (Jesus) would love first. Through His love, grace and mercy are shown and given. As a believer, God tells us in Colossians what characteristics we are to put on our new self. I know that I am not perfect, and I am not always "dressed" in this manner. It is something I strive for everyday!
"Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, patience; bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do. But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection. And let the peace of God rules in your hearts..." Colossians 3:12-15a
"Let your speech always be seasoned with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one." Colossians 4:6
When I first announced on facebook about our journey and that I was going to be doing this, I mentioned that infertility is not something people talk about because people don't understand, or have no idea what to say to us. If someone has never encountered a person facing these issues, they don't know how to approach the conversation. They might not know that these mostly innocent sayings crush us every time they are mentioned to us. However, it is our job to inform and advocate just like anyone going through another situation would.
The best thing, in my opinion, you can say to someone going through infertility, "I'm praying for you." or "How can I pray for you?" Then in that moment pray for them!
To the person reading this who has had these same things told to them: You are not alone. We are all in this together! Don't forget to show GRACE and always remember HE WOULD LOVE FIRST!
Dear God,
Today, I pray for the couples that are hearing these comments. I pray we would all remember to show grace. I pray we'd remember to love first just as you do for us every single day! Thank you for your love and grace. We would be lost without it. I pray that conversations will be made, that what we are going through won't be ignored just because people don't know how to act/react/what to say/etc. I pray that we would be strong and love always! Thank you for all you have given us! AMEN!
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