This week, idols have really been on my mind for some reason. I feel like this is a really odd topic to post about, but I've really wanted to just share where my heart was at this week.
This week, I was spending some time in the Word, and what I was reading made me want to examine myself, my heart and my head. An idol, is anything (person, place, thing, etc) we put in the place of God. So I asked myself, what do I turn to when I am anxious, upset, angry, or any of these other emotions? Is there something taking God's spot as the ultimate and supreme ruler over my life/heart? Then, I did something terrible right here, I started to think about another individual's idols (or what I believe they are) and how I was going to help them fix it. Thank goodness, God got me back in the right mindset real quick as I looked back at a previous study. It made me go back to a Bible Study I had done a few years ago with a small group from church, gods at War by Kyle Idleman. In this study, it goes over many possibilities of what little g gods could be in our lives; food, money, power, addictions, entertainment, success, ourselves, and more. So I skimmed through the book, and here are a few things that stuck out to me.
"God is jealous for your heart, not because he is petty, but because He loves you."
"He doesn't want us to just make room in our closet for Him, He wants the closet to Himself."
""I'm successful" says we are giving glory to ourselves. "I'm blessed" says we are giving the glory to God."
"Idols are defeated not be removing them, but by being replaced."
"God is always in first place. But there are no places. God isn't interested in competing against others or being first among many...He isn't interested in being the president of the board, He is the board."
I wrote these things down on sticky notes, and began to write down some of my favorite verses and other sayings too. Here are a couple I wrote down.
From Secret Church 2019: "Our relationship with God in prayer should look like a consuming addiction in our lives, not a convenient addition to our lives."- David Platt
Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. Proverbs 4:23
But the real question here is what does all of this have to do with our infertility journey?
Well, through this journey we have had many heartaches and many times where we felt like God was not present in this part of our lives. Those times were times when we weren't opening our Bibles and when we weren't praying as often. However, we know that is He present in every situation, good or bad, whether we feel Him or not. So, all this to say, can the want or drive of having a child become an idol? Do I desire more to have a child, than to have a relationship with God? Now, you may be thinking, Katey, isn't this a little extreme? Well maybe it is, maybe it isn't. But the day I started typing this topic...someone in a facebook group I am in asked the exact same question. I thought to myself, I am not alone in the fact that I felt like this towards the beginning of our road! As we've grown in our faith over the past few years, I don't believe this is a current situation for me, but looking back I can definitely see where this has happened. So my prayer has been that my heart desires Jesus most of all. That I don't let the desire, I believe He put there, be what I desire most. As we've grown in our faith over the past few years, I don't believe this is a current situation for me, but looking back I can definitely see where this has happened.
Keep the faith! Guard your heart! Desire a relationship with God over everything!
Dear children, keep yourselves from idols. 1 John 5:21
Dear God, I pray that above all else we would guard our hearts. That we would guard it from all the little g gods and idols that are trying to take over and that we have begun to let take over in our lives. Help us to examine our hearts so that if idols are present, they can be replaced by You and You alone. Help us to desire a deeper relationship with you daily.
Dear God, I pray that above all else we would guard our hearts. That we would guard it from all the little g gods and idols that are trying to take over and that we have begun to let take over in our lives. Help us to examine our hearts so that if idols are present, they can be replaced by You and You alone. Help us to desire a deeper relationship with you daily.
AMEN.
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