The Final Part of Our IVF Journey

 

Thursday July 22: 

We left for Birmingham around 8:15, and got to Brookwood around 9:35. We had to be at the ART clinic at 9:45. Right after we arrive they go ahead and take us back. I change into procedure attire, get my IV put in, and go over all paperwork, etc. 

Here is a picture of us while waiting! Our appointment was at 10:45, but I probably didn't go back until around 11:15ish. The last thing I remember was the doctor telling me he was going to take good care of me, and then I woke up in recovery! I woke up in recovery to find out that they retrieved 18, yes you read that right, 18 eggs! Brandon stops on the way home to get me chickfila, and I spend the rest of the afternoon/night napping on and off, and relaxing! Tomorrow we will find out how many of the eggs were mature and how many fertilized! I cannot wait to get the results! Our plan is still to transfer on Tuesday! 

Friday July 23: 

Dear God, 

I am in awe Lord! You continue to amaze us with your mighty power for each step of this process. We thank you Lord so much for the ability to make it through this process and for keeping your hand on us each step of the way! I pray that we have at least 50% back it to day 5, Lord! We can't wait to meet our precious child that you will gift us with one day! We love you, and again praise you for the good report because it was only possibly through you! AMEN 

10 eggs fertilized!! We won't know how many made it to day 5 until Tuesday when we go in for our fresh transfer! 

Tuesday, July 27:

Well, I turned 30 over the weekend, and to be honest I was miserable most of the time. Ever since the retrieval, I haven't felt like myself. I took two naps on my birthday, which tells you I didn't feel good. 

So we get to Birmingham at 10:00. Now, before we get there I was instructed to drink approximately 28-32oz of water, and NOT go to the bathroom. If you know me well, that was difficult. We get dressed in our attire, and ready for our update! The doctor shows us two embryos that are ready for transfer. He tells us that he is not sure if any of the others that fertilized will make it to be frozen. We had already discussed the possibility of transferring two embryos, so that's what we did! 

In 9 days, we will know if we are pregnant! And possibly with twins! 

Wednesday July 28: 

Today we learned that one embryo made it to be frozen! So after this pregnancy (we are claiming it in Jesus' name), we will have the option to have another if we'd like! We are so excited about that possibility! Brandon said we might need a bigger house, but we just moved 11 months ago! 

We are just in prayer that this is working for us as we speak! That these two embryos babies are growing! 

Sunday August 1: 

Today has not been the best mentally. I am all in my head over not having any type of symptoms to show that this transfer was successful. I have had a little cramping and that is it. When we left we were basically told that cramping, spotting, and a few other things might happen but that it was completely normal. Really none of that has happened, and I don't know whether it is a good a bad thing. It made me a little emotional at church while we were singing this song: 

Goodness of God

Then in the sermon, I felt some affirmation for sharing our journey and that is was for a purpose. We have been going through a series called Stages. In the last one today, it was about how we all die physically, and what are we doing now to finish the race that God has called us to start and finish. Pastor Daniel talked about how we should be sharing our testimonies and stories in order to help others through their tough times. We don't know what kind of impact we can make until we share! 

One of my favorite verses was shared: 1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on Him, for He cares for you. I have shared this statement many times because this note is written in my Bible right beside that verse: PRAYER EXCHANGES ANXIETY FOR PEACE!    

Dear God, 

I pray that you would take my anxiety right now. Just lift it from me because it is too heavy for me to carry right now! I can't handle it, and it makes me emotional thinking about all of this! We know you are the ultimate miracle worker Lord, and we pray that we see a miracle done in your name on Thursday Lord! That we would be able to see a positive, but if not Lord, help us to love you. Thank you for loving us when we fall short! Amen

Tuesday August 3: 

I thought Sunday was rough, but yesterday was a terrible day (really more of the afternoon). I had an absolute mental breakdown. I couldn't hold back the tears. I cried that morning, cried that afternoon, and balled after we got home from dinner. I told Brandon about a nightmare I had the previous night, regarding everything we are going through, and that I am just exhausted. I am tired. I am tired of taking medicine all the time. I am tired of the shots. I am tired of being strong when I am not. I'm tired of being let down over and over again. I am tired of having to be the one to tell Brandon news each and every time. I am tired of going to family events and being the only one without a kid to chase around. I am tired of feeling like I am the only one not pregnant. I am tired. And I know what most will say, Katey don't give up yet, God's timing is perfect. While, I believe God's timing is perfect, I don't understand why it couldn't have been all these past times! 

Every night, Brandon and I have been praying together. Trying our hardest to fight this in prayer. God knows the desires of our hearts and we continue to pray that this anxious feeling leaves us, and that this is God's plan and timing for this to happen in our lives. Brandon was so positive as I was having this breakdown yesterday! He knows all these feelings have just overwhelmed me over the past few days, and I am so thankful he continues to check on me, and is staying positive. Because in all honesty, I am having a hard time. 

Dear God, 

I pray again, just for all anxiety and negative thoughts to be taken away. They are not from you Lord, and I know you are in control. Help us to keep being positive as we await results day on Thursday. I pray for others that are in similar situations Lord. I pray that they can be strong. I pray they rely on you too. Thank you for the reminder that Your goodness is chasing after us daily! Help us to completely surrender! Amen

Thursday August 5; 

Today was beta day. Today was the worst day. Today my HCG was a 0 with no chance of rising. Today we officially lost our two embabies. We are heart broken. We have no exact plan of what is next. We just know we have an appointment on September 20th with the doctor for a follow-up and to discuss what's next. 

We don't understand why it was not in God's plan at this time. We don't understand why He provided the necessities for us to get through all of this, have great numbers, just for it to fail. We know there is a purpose, but we are honestly tired of trying to find it. 

I just ask that you continue to pray for us as we navigate through this pain. Please be in prayer as I return to school soon just to see every single day what we do not have. We want to thank you all for your love and support through our IVF journey, but this part has officially come to a close. This is not us giving up, but more of us just taking a break! God is good even during this hard time, I just pray the desires of our hearts will be met soon! 

Friday August 6; 

Brandon took the day off today so we could spend time together just the two of us! We ran errands, had a lunch date, and just were able to really talk over what had just happened. We talked about how this next month in a half really needed to be a rest period for us. This process took over my whole summer. We didn't plan a vacation or anything to really do because we knew we had all of this going on. So a break from the infertility world for the next month and half will hopefully be restful! 

Dear God, Please help us to find rest and peace in You. We do not understand why everything was provided for this process to work with no result. I pray that we would just be comforted by You. That you'd give us the strength to make it as our hearts desires have been delayed for some reason. We love you Lord, but it is just so hard to wrap our heads around everything. We lift up other couples that are having the same struggles, other couples that are in the same season, and pray that you'd be with them also. Amen 

Saturday August 7;

Friday and Saturday have been a little better. I haven't cried as much. 

Luckily, I was able to see my two best friends over these past two days! Friday night we went to a JoDee Messina concert in Birmingham and man, she took us to church. I loved her music growing up, but man she sang her hit songs, and Child of Love, My Jesus, and Reckless Love - it was so powerful! I was grateful for a night out with friends to get my mind off of things! 

As I write this, I am not sure when we will actually share this post. Do we share right away to go ahead and get the comments/questions over with? Do we give ourselves more time to process? Do we just hurt alone with the handful of people we've told? 

We've said all this, but I am going to type it again because this is what keeps going through my head: We aren't sure what God is up to in our story! From the beginning when we decided to go through IVF we thought it was what God wanted us to do. He made a way! Everything was provided. But what happened? I don't know that we will ever understand. 

Sunday August 8; 

This morning I had a coworker send me Praise You in the Storm and just remind me that we don't understand the WHY, but our prayers just delayed not denied. 

I was also reminded at church that even though our hurt seems lonely and so big right now, we are not the only ones going through hurt, disappointment, or trials, suffering. This makes me question if we have just been too selfish in our prayers throughout this journey. We have made the past 4 years a lot about our fertility journey instead of making it about our journey with God. So I think a new mindset will be in order for whatever part comes next! I am so thankful for our mentor groups at church that are about to kick off! I really believe it is going to make a great impact on our lives and walk with Christ. 

If you have a prayer request that you need prayer over, I would love to pray for y'all like you all have done for me and Brandon. Fill out this google form and I'll add you to my personal prayer list.  Prayer Request Form 

We decided to go ahead and share the blog today! I am not sure when the next blog will come, but don't worry we will keep all of you updated as we proceed in our journey with God, Infertility, and Life!  As always thank you for all the love and prayers! Love, Katey

IVF Diary Part 3

Saturday July 10th: 

Tonight is the first night of STIMS! We are so excited to finally get started with the process! We are continuing to pray for the follicles to grow and grow, and create many many eggs to retrieve! 

Wednesday July 14th: 

Today was my first follicle scan at the doctor's office.  I was excited to see what all the medicine had done over the past 4 nights. At the appointment they measured 9 follicles growing slowly. Now, growing slowly isn't bad because you don't want 1 or 2 to get bigger than all the rest. You want them to grow together. I was a little disappointed. I would have thought that there would have been more! As I was upset and talking with Brandon this morning, he gave me the best reminder, that it only takes 1 to make a miracle! We are praying our 1 or 2 may be in that 9! The nurse didn't call until 4:00 with bloodwork results, etc. So my medicine amount will stay the same, and I go back on Friday at 8:15.  

Dear God, 

I thank you for the follicles/eggs that we have growing Lord. Please forgive me for doubting that it may not be enough. I pray that we continue to look to you as we journey on through the IVF process! Help us to put our hope and trust in you with every step! We love you and pray for great results on Friday!  AMEN

Friday, July 16th:

Today was a  much better ultrasound! She measured 12 follicles total that were growing! All I can do is praise God for seeing even more follicles growing, and praying they continue to keep going! 

Dear God, 

We thank you for the follicles that are growing right now. We are just so thankful! I pray that everything continues to grow and that the medicine continues to work as we take it for many more days! AMEN 

Monday July 19th: 

Today was follicle check #3. I got to see all my follicles growing on the ultrasound as there were 14 on EACH SIDE! Now, not all of them are near the size they are supposed to be, but I thought it was pretty cool to watch the progression of them from when I had my first ultrasound to now. I have had some cramping still as I continue to take the medicine. And today I felt super bloated too. So I wait on the nurse to call me this afternoon. They finally call around 3:30, and she says I have to come back tomorrow for another check. After another check, we will decide if I will trigger Tuesday for a Thursday Retrieval or Wednesday for a Friday Retrieval. 

If I have a Wednesday trigger, I will have to take my STIM meds for one extra day. Now, we know these meds are expensive, but let me tell you what happen today with trying to order one extra day. So most of the Gonal-f or Follistim cost between 300-500 depending on dosage, etc. We sent to a different pharmacy than normal, and I had to call the doctor back to tell them that I couldn't do that. The pharmacist said it was going to be over $900. So I went back to my normal Fertility Pharmacy and got it for $450. The cool thing about the Fertility Pharmacies is that they will over night your medicine for free to you! The one we use happens to be in GA, and they have never missed a next day delivery. 

Now we wait to see what tomorrow brings! I am so ready to know for sure what day our retrieval will be! We continue to pray that it is super successful, with lots of eggs retrieved and lots of embryos made! 

Tuesday, July 20th: 

In being honest, I was super worried this morning! However, God has come through again and again showing his power! So, I didn't end up needing the extra meds I talked about yesterday! I also didn't end up needing one of the trigger shots either! 

Dear God, 

Thank you for your faithfulness Lord! We pray right now for a successful retrieval, fertilization, and transfer! We pray for our future child that is being made! That we will be able to see him or her in April of next year, Lord! We know all of this is possible through you and we just pray that you guide the doctors, and watch over us through this next week of exciting, but scary events! We thank you that we are able to do a fresh transfer! We thank you for the doctors who have already been there to help us so much! I am just in awe of all of this coming together! I thank you for sweet Brandon, and him being by my side every step of the way through countless shots, and medication! We love you and are so excited for what this next week may bring! In Jesus name, Amen. 

Retrieval Set: 07/22/21 @ 10:45 AM 

07/24/21- Katey turns 30! 

Transfer Set: 07/27/21 @ 12: 00 PM 

All in Birmingham at the ART Fertility Clinic! 

LET'S DO THIS! There will be a part 4, you probably won't see it until September! But all of this was too exciting not to share with you all! Please be in prayer for: Egg retrieval, fertilization, embryos, transfer, for my body to work as it should, and for Baby Owens to be healthy and make it 9 months so we can meet him or her! We love you all and are so thankful for your prayers! 

-Katey and Brandon 

IVF Diary Part 2

Monday, June 28th

There really hasn't been an update since the last blog. Tomorrow is my appointment with the IVF nurse from Birmingham. After the appointment I will be able to order my medicine that is needed, and just learn more about the specifics of the process. I pray that it goes well, and I'll update Part 2 of the blog tomorrow after the appointment at 9:00. 

Tuesday, June 29th

I had my appointment with IVF nurse. We talked on the phone for about 45 minutes going over my calendar, medicines, procedures, financial, and consents to sign. First was the calendar. We set up the suppression appointment for next Wednesday July 7th. At this appointment they will be doing blood work, and making sure the birth control did its job. However, this is the point in the process where many couples journey gets cancelled. So I ask that we pray for everything to go just as it should. As long as everything goes well, I will start STIMS on Saturday July 10th. All of my meds were ordered today and they should be here this Friday. 

We went over how to mix the medicines for the shots. And other medicines that I would potentially have to take during the process. We also went over all of the medicines I am currently taking to make sure nothing would counteract. Everything there was good. So now we just wait for next week and go from there! 

Monday, July 5th

Today is my last day on birth control! Wednesday is the big appointment that I have already explained in the last date of the diary. I am just feeling super nervous about it. My nerves have been way worse than normal. I am so thankful for my little prayer team that I have been sending out messages too. These women have been so encouraging, and prayerful on mine and Brandon's behalf! They have kept me uplifted over the past month and I am so grateful they are there for us! (INSERT: please don't be offended if you are not in this group and reading this. The blog is a great way to keep up with everything too! 

Prayer for Today

Lord, I pray that you would calm my anxious soul. Give us peace about our appointment on Wednesday! I pray that my levels be where they are supposed too, no cysts, and that the birth control did what it was supposed to do. Help us to stay positive and know that you are in control of this situation! We thank you that you have paved a way for this so far, and we can't wait to see what happens with the rest of our testimony. *AMEN*

Wednesday July 7th

As of 9:00, everything looks good. My ultrasound was perfect, and now we just wait on the bloodwork results. We are waiting to see what my estrogen level is. We are wanting it to be super super low! 

As of 2:00, we have the go ahead! STIMS START SATURDAY!!! 

Please be in prayer, that my follicles grow into many many eggs! I probably will not publish part 3 for a while! We just ask for your prayers! Thank you all for the prayers you've already said! 

Dear God, Thank you for letting your plan fall into place! We praise you for our numbers being good, and for my ultrasound being perfect! We could not have made it this far without our hope in you! We continue to trust in you throughout the process, and thank you for the others that are interceding for us! In Jesus Name, Amen. 

IVF Diary Part 1

 Thursday May 27, 2021: 

I finally finally started my cycle! Woohoo! 

Right away, I call to make an appointment at ART for our pre-IVF baseline. I'm just so excited one that I finally started, and two that my cycles weren't 50 days apart this time. I literally. When talking with a friend, I think the thyroid medicine might be helping regulate my cycle! Anyways, appointment was made for 7:45 on Friday! 

Friday May 28, 2021: 

Go into my appointment at 7:45. Blood work first, then ultrasound, and meeting with the nurse. We go over a few different things, I end up having to get blood drawn again. Everything on the ultrasound looks good, and now we waited on blood work to see if we would be able to start. We scheduled the next steps, which is a saline ultrasound and fasting blood work for me, and blood work and analysis for Brandon. 

Our biggest prayer was that my thyroid levels would come down and guess what? They did! We get the news to go ahead and start birth control/blood thinner shots for Saturday. While on the phone with the nurse, she also lets me know that she will have an approximate calendar for me.  This calendar will include dates of appointments, and approximate date for egg retrieval and transfer (Should be early July). 

I get my prescription for the birth control and take it to Adam's Drugs Millbrook. Well Millbrook calls, and they don't have it and would have to order it. I asked if they could see if Pine level or Montgomery had it, and luckily, Pine Level had it in stock! 

Saturday, May 29th

Thursday June 3, 2021: 

Today was saline ultrasound day! And as it was prayed: EVERYTHING WAS PERFECT! 

I also got our approximate calendar. I am going to have to take the birth control a little longer than expected. Then the approximate time for retrieval, etc is for mid-end of July! I am hoping and praying this will be the best birthday present EVER! Unfortunately, we thought that last year would be too, so it is difficult thinking that this is such a similar timeline to 2020 when our IUI was successful on my 29th birthday, and learned we miscarried the first day of school. We have to continue to focus on the positive! 

Friday June 4, 2021: 

Blood work was completed for both Brandon and myself! We will be waiting on results for a while because mine were sent to LabCorp. Hopefully Brandon's will come quicker! 

Saturday June 5, 2021: 

We are now on the second week of lovenox and birth control. So far, I have only had a few of the side effects including low grade fevers and stomach aches. Praying week 2 won't show any side effects. 

Monday June 7, 2021: 

So if you have been following our journey, months ago we had someone that donated around $3,000 worth of medication to us! This was such a huge blessing! Today, I get the quote for the medicine in my email, and it is only $1,800ish. Wow, this bill should have been around $5,000, but isn't, thanks to a wonderful family that wanted to pay it forward after they had gone through IVF too and a God that provides! 

Also on Monday, I got some of the bloodwork results from Friday, June 4th. It scared me to death when the nurse called. Most of my bloodwork was fine, but I had a few things that were higher than normal. First was something with my liver and second was my fasting sugar. Now, I have added another supplement to take; ovasitol. Now this is a powder that you mix and drink with any non-carbonated drink. Brandon's bloodwork came back good as well. 

Also, I spoke with a sorority sister today that is also going through this process. Crazy thing, is we almost have the exact same schedule! Literally, our retrievals are approximately the same week. I thought that was neat that we would be going through everything at similar times. 

Tuesday June 8, 2021: 

Brandon goes to south for an analysis. I leave for Kids Camp with our new church home, Journey. Journey has been such a blessing the past months. I have jumped into working in the children's ministry, and Brandon is getting everything going to be on the security team. 

Sunday June 13, 2021: 

Today is our 6th anniversary. I am just so overwhelmed today, thinking about the fact that we should have had a child by now. We should have had this little front room filled with nursery things, but it isn't. And it just breaks my heart. 

Also Brandon has been sick all weekend! Praying he gets to feeling better soon! 

And, I am pretty sure this Ovasitol is making my stomach super upset. It doesn't have a taste, but drinking it three times a day seems like a lot. 

We also begin week 3 of birth control and lovenox. This week, I only take it until Wednesday, take a break, and then start again at the beginning of next week. I am having to take it longer than the normal protocol. Still praying for side effects to not be bad. 

Stay tuned for Part 2 in a few weeks for another update**

Prayer Request for now: 

-Minimal side effects from medicines

-Strength, Faith, Hope

-Pre-Cycle appointment on June 29th to go well 

-Brandon 

What happens next: 

Continue meds

Pre-cycle appointment with IVF nurse on June 29th 

IVF Baseline once my cycle starts again

Scripture for the heart

 Do you ever have days where you just need a little scripture to help get your heart back right? I realized after a super busy two weeks, that I haven't really set time aside to do my Bible Study or journaling. So I just want to take some time to share a few scriptures with all of you today! Hopefully someone else needs these today besides me! 

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. 2 Corinthians 4:16-18

Taste and see that the Lord is Good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in Him. Psalm 34:8

But you, Lord, are a shield around me, my glory, the One who lifts my head high. I call out to the Lord, and He answers me from His holy mountain. Psalm 3:3-4

God is our refuge and strength, an ever present help in trouble. Psalm 46:1

Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. Hebrews 11:1

The Lord is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble. Those who know your name trust in you, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you. Psalm 9:9-10 

Let your unfailing love be with us, Lord, even as we put our hope in you. Psalm 33:22

May you be strengthened with all power, according to His glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy. Colossians 1:11 

I will be taking a break for a few weeks from writing in the blog as we are finishing up the school year. I should be heading back to the doctor at the end of May. Prayers are for my Thyroid levels to be lower, so that we can go ahead and start our IVF cycle! I'll update you all in a few weeks! 

Another Year Older

 Another year older, another year without a child...Not me, but him. 

Today is Brandon's 32nd birthday. (April 28th) And for his birthday, he should have been becoming a dad. If we wouldn't have miscarried, baby owens would have made his or her arrival this past week. This week should have been the start of our IVF; however, the records did not get to ART on time. Another year older, another year without a child. 

This past month at church we were in a sermon series titled the Comeback. The series started with the greatest comeback of all time, Jesus' resurrection. Then we went on to discuss Peter, Paul, and David's comebacks with some members of the church's testimonies. 

As Brandon and I were talking about my results not getting to ART in time for us to start our IVF cycle, he mentions, "you know, maybe God is setting us up for a comeback." In my mind, all I could think was well it is definitely possible. 

My prayer today, is for all of those that are in need of a comeback. Jesus is there to welcome you with open arms, if you'll take that leap of faith and turn to Him. I also pray, thanking God for the comebacks that have happened! Don't be afraid to share your testimony with someone else! You never know the positive impact you might make. 

National Infertility Awareness Week 2021

 Journey Update: 

I went back to the hematologist yesterday to get my results from all of my blood work, and shocker...I have Factor V. I have known this for 6 years now, but had to get retested for it. I also previously mentioned that I had to start taking iron pills. So the real reason I had to go in was for the hematologist to make a decision on what to do with the birth control part of IVF. So, I will be taking a blood thinner while going through IVF. This blood thinner is a injectable. The nurse asked me if I would have trouble with it, and I was like no ma'am I have been giving myself shots for a while now. 

Now, the catch to everything is that for some reason my cycle decided to show its face earlier than 50 days. So I started on Monday, which means I am cycle day 3 today. In order to do IVF, the doctor's office has to see you by cycle day 4 (aka tomorrow). Well I called yesterday to make sure my records had been faxed to ART. I cannot make an appointment at ART until the results of the blood work, and the doctor's recommendation have been faxed to ART. When I called them yesterday, and of course the blood work results are ready to fax over, but the doctor's recommendation isn't. So more than likely we will have to wait until my cycle starts again to actually have another baseline IVF appointment. The one good thing, is that the timing would be over the summer. So now, we wait again. 

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This week is National Infertility Awareness Week. If you see the hashtag on facebook #niaw, that is what it stands for. So during this week, many many people share their stories on social media, etc. We don't share our stories for the comments, or attention, most of us simply share our story/struggle to raise awareness to an issue that is so hard to talk about casually. 

1 in 8 couples struggle to get pregnant. 

1 in 4 women have had a miscarriage. 

I saw this wonderfully written on facebook and wanted to share it: 

To the woman in target walking by the baby clothes, softly touching everything you pass with your fingertips; but continuing to walk by without buying anything ... I see you

To the woman at the baby shower who slips into the bathroom to hold back the tears and walks back out with a smile on her face... I see you

To the woman at the grocery store seeing the pregnant teenager, and the woman shopping midday with 5 kids in and around the cart; and thinking why not me?! ... I see you

To the woman sitting in her car a little longer than necessary parked at the fertility clinic, before walking in for another appointment or treatment, because nothing good has happened there yet... I see you

To the woman who prays every morning, every night, and a little harder every Sunday at church for a baby that hasn’t come... I see you

To the woman who has the heart of a warrior, and will never give up hope... I see you

To the woman feeling broken... you’re not.

To the woman feeling alone... you’re not.

I see you.

I am you.

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Dear God, I pray as we take this week to share stories and raise awareness that we would continue to put our hope in you for your future. I pray for each and everyone couple going through infertility. It is just so hard Lord, but daily we are praying to make a comeback! Help us to believe it! AMEN.