I ask these questions to tell you all about a new book that I have started reading. The book is called Anything: The Prayer that Unlocked my God and my Soul by Jennie Allen. It was written in 2011. Allen is also the author of many books, but most recently, Get Out of Your Head. It is also on my list to read.
I haven't finished Anything yet. Jennie tells the reader at the beginning about a prayer her and her husband prayed together. "God we will do anything." She says, "In saying anything, it meant we were handing Him everything." So far the book is telling about events that lead up to that point, and then will move on to how it changed their lives. I tell you all this because it has one part so far that I really would like to share with you. There is a part where she is in a brief conversation with a friend battling infertility and I related to it so well.
She shares that her and her friend have lunch, and the friend battling with not getting pregnant shares that she is wrestling that God makes babies, but hasn't given them one yet. One question led to something much deeper. Jennie asked her "What's the hardest part?" Her friend's reply, "I just feel so different from everyone, from all my friends moving on with their lives."
"This different feeling, this different path God had for her and her husband was extra difficult because it was different. She was hurting and felt alone in her life."
All I could think of when I read this was that I have been there, had those feelings, and every once in a while they resurface. Infertility is a path that God has chosen for us, for some reason. Yes it is difficult and yes it different than most of our friends. But yes, it has brought my relationship with the Lord closer- yes, it has brought Brandon and I closer- yes, it has made us build friendships and relationships with people we would have not otherwise met.
What is it about being normal or like everyone else? Let's just be what God created us to be!
Jennie goes on to say, "What is it about norms, about sameness, that feels so good? There are of course rebels who would rather die that be the same as anyone else, but deep down most of us feel most safe, most at home, with people to whom we are similar."
A lot of the times we have a hard time relating to most adults conversations. Why? Because what do most adults talk about... their kids or grandkids? Please do not take this as we don't want to here about your kids or grandkids, that's not it. I am just saying we don't have a way to relate to it, but we hope and pray that we can one day! We are so blessed that we are not alone on our journey. It felt lonely at first, but now it isn't. We have educated others, we have so many people praying for us, groups that we know we can talk to when times are rough, and so much more!
Instead of just saying we will do anything, let's give him EVERYTHING! Surrender... what do you and I need to give over to Him today?
Here are some more of the Promises of God's Word:
The Lord hears you (Psalm 34:17)
God will make you paths straight (Proverbs 3:6)
You are under grace (Romans 6:14)
You are chosen and dearly loved (Colossians 3:12)
*No update on a decision this week. I think we are leaning towards going through another round of IVF. However, we are still praying and just wanting to feel peace with the decision. Thank you for all the prayers!
Much Love,
Katey & Brandon
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